Self Discovery

Summer is more than a break from school, it's a powerful opportunity for your teen or young adult to reconnect with who they are and who they’re becoming. With fewer routines and more open time, this season can be a launchpad for self-discovery, independence, and growth, if we make space for it.

As a parent, you don’t have to plan every moment. You don’t need all the answers. But your presence, questions, and small daily choices can shape a strong foundation for your teen or young adult to build on.

Even if your young person has every week planned out this summer (and I totally get the pressure to do this), many of the suggestions below can still apply. (Please scroll all the way down to see my new Introduction Video!)

Supporting young people's self discovery.

Encourage a Growth Mindset

Mistakes and missteps are not failures: they're fuel for growth. Model a mindset that values learning over perfection by saying things like:

• “You’re not there yet, and that’s part of the process.”

• “Let’s figure out what you learned from this.”

• “Trying something new is brave, even if it’s messy.”

This helps your teen or young adult understand that their potential isn’t fixed, it’s unfolding.

Invite Exploration, Not Achievement

Encourage your young person to try something this summer just because it’s interesting. Whether it's volunteering, learning a skill, or revisiting an old hobby, this kind of exploration builds self-awareness, and often reveals hidden strengths.

Ask: “If you could try anything this summer, no pressure, no grades, what would it be?”

Use Strength-Focused Questions

The right questions can spark reflection, confidence, and connection. Try asking:“What made you feel most like yourself this week?”

• “What’s something you handled better than expected?”

• “What’s a challenge you’re proud of working through?”

These conversations help your teen or young adult identify their inner resources and feel seen by you.

Let Them Take the Lead

Self-discovery thrives with autonomy. Try loosening control in small, safe ways: like letting your teen plan their schedule, manage a project, or navigate a new responsibility. If they are older teens or young adults, try to hand over some of the family responsibilities (if they agree), such as planning a trip, driving their siblings to activities, or making dinner for others.

It’s okay if it’s imperfect. That’s part of how confidence is built. Try to pick one area to let your young person lead in this month and resist the urge to jump in.

Create Space Beyond Screens

Constant connection to devices can dull your teen’s internal compass. You don’t have to ban screens, but you can offer intentional alternatives. Try:

• Screen-free meals or tech-free mornings

• Swapping one hour of screen time for a creative, social, or outdoor activity

• Any activity where everyone is intentionally off their devices

Even small shifts create space for reflection and self-awareness to grow

How Coaching Can Help Young People Grow

Life coaching for teens and young adults offers a supportive space where young people can explore who they are, build self-awareness, and develop essential life skills.

My practice is grounded in supporting young people to learn and understand their strengths, navigate challenges, and make decisions aligned with their values. It's magical as I witness the young folks I work with build confidence, resilience, and a growth mindset, all key ingredients for thriving in school, relationships, and beyond.

Resources

Free Character Strengths Survey VIA Character Strengths Assessment

Carol Dweck is a psychologist known for her work on motivation and mindset. TED Talk: The Power of Yet

By holding space for your teen or young adult to try, reflect, and grow, you’re giving them one of the most powerful gifts: the chance to discover who they are, on their own terms, with your steady support in the background. Please try any of these tips at home, share with friends or colleagues, or book a free consultation if you think coaching could benefit your child.

Thank you so much for joining me in the work to raise and support our young people as they navigate the joys and challenges of this special time.

ALERT! Click here to learn more about me and see my new Introduction to Bolster Coaching Video