Friendships

With the school year underway, classes figured out, and hopefully some good organziational systems in place, I'd like to spend some time on another very important topic: friends.

Whether your young person is super social, has a a few friends, or struggles with making and keeping friends, the relationships with peers are a part of their everyday life.

Why Friendships Matter

Friendships shape so much of how teens and young adults see themselves and the world around them. A strong, supportive friendship helps build confidence, reduces stress, and gives young people a safe place to share what they are going through.

In my work with clients, I often hear how important they think it is to have a big group of friends. Many of them feel very left out when they scroll through social media and see pictures of large groups hanging out without them. That feeling of rejection can be really painful. What I remind both teens and their parents is that quality friendships with a few people can be much more meanifngul than surface relationships with a large group. Research backs this up: even one or two close, steady friends can make a huge difference in a young person’s well-being.

Supporting Healthy Friendships

Parents can play an important role in helping their child build and maintain connections that feel safe and healthy.You can start by reminding your teen that they do not need a large group to be happy or accepted. And while they may not want to hear it, or believe it, this is good information to store for the future as they navigate the large "friend" groups.

Share your own experiences of friendship and what helped you know who was truly supportive. Create or encourage opportunities for your young person to meet peers with shared interests through clubs, volunteering, sports, or other activities. Most of all, give them space to process the ups and downs of friendships. Sometimes just listening is more powerful than jumping in to fix things. 

When Making Friends Feels Hard

For some young people, making friends feels especially difficult. Teens and young adults who are on the autism spectrum, live with ADHD, or experience rejection sensitivity often tell me they want friends but struggle to take the first step or to recover when things do not go as planned. I have seen clients feel deeply discouraged after being ghosted or misunderstood.

What helps is normalizing their experience and showing them that these challenges do not mean they cannot have meaningful friendships. Highlighting their strengths is also key. I often remind clients of the qualities that make them a good friend—loyalty, humor, creativity, or the ability to really listen. Role-playing social situations at home or in coaching sessions can give them practice and confidence.

Coaching in Action

One of my clients moved to a new city and felt overwhelmed trying to meet people. After being left out of a group they tried to join, they were ready to give up on friendships altogether.

In our coaching sessions, we worked on identifying what kind of connections they really wanted, what they valued in others and themselves, and practiced small, realistic steps that were just outside of their comfort zone but still within their growth zone. That meant sending a text to one person from work that they had a good vibe with, showing up to a dance class, and staying open to trying again after a tough day.

Over time, this client built two close friendships that felt genuine and supportive. They shared that taking small manageable risks, and focusing on the right fit changed everything for them. This shift has helped them feel more confident, connected, and hopeful.

I have seen again and again that friendship is one of the most powerful parts of growing up. Even when it feels hard, it is possible for teens and young adults to find the people who make them feel understood and accepted. Coaching provides the structure, encouragement, and strategies they need to take small risks, practice new skills, and build friendships that last.

If you want to explore how coaching can support your teen or young adult, I invite you to schedule a free consultation.