Combatting Negative Thinking

Have you ever noticed a young person in your life—maybe a teen in your family or in someone else's—getting stuck in negativity? It’s something I see often in my coaching work and if I’m being honest, I catch myself falling into negative thinking too sometimes. It’s completely natural, but if left unchecked, it can hold us back from joy, growth, and achieving our goals.

The good news? We don’t have to stay stuck in those thoughts. With awareness and practice, we can challenge negativity and shift toward a mindset that supports our dreams.

Helping Young People Combat Negative Thinking

Negative thinking can be a tough habit to break, especially for young people navigating the challenges of growing up. Whether it's self-doubt, fear of failure, or a tendency to focus on the worst-case scenario, these thought patterns can impact confidence, motivation, and emotional well-being. Negative thinking is actually a tactic that our early ancestors used to survive—a negative thinking bias that forced them to think about what could go wrong, and what danger they could be in so that they could protect themselves. The stressors have changed with the times--from fear of a wholly mammoth charging at us to fear of not getting enough likes on Instagram (both of those examples totally legit!).  What can happen, however, is that when people, young people in particular, get stuck in negative thought patterns, it can prevent them from taking action, trying a new approach, or having success with something they want.

As a parent or someone who works with young people, you can help your child build resilience and reframe their thinking in positive, constructive ways.

How You Can Help Your Young Person Combat Negative Thinking

Model Positive Self-Talk

Our kids pick up on how we talk about ourselves. When you make a mistake, try saying, "I didn’t get that right, but I’ll learn from it and try again," instead of "I’m so bad at this."

Validate Their Feelings Without Reinforcing Negativity

If your child says, "I’m terrible at math," instead of immediately reassuring them, try asking, "What part feels hardest for you?" This opens the door for problem-solving rather than reinforcing a fixed mindset.

Encourage a Growth Mindset

Help them shift their thinking by adding "yet" to their statements: "I can’t do this… yet." This small change fosters perseverance and resilience.

Challenge Negative Thoughts Together

When your child expresses a negative belief, ask: "What’s the evidence for and against this thought?" Teaching them to evaluate their own thinking helps them develop a more balanced perspective.

Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success

Praise their persistence rather than just the outcome. "I saw how hard you worked on that project—your dedication really paid off!" This helps them value progress over perfection.

How Coaching Can Help

Many of my coaching clients struggle with negative thinking. I help them recognize common thinking traps, such as:

• Mindreading – Assuming others have negative thoughts about them.

• Catastrophizing – Focusing on the worst-case scenario instead of the most likely outcome.

• Jumping to conclusions – Making assumptions without sufficient evidence.

• Personalization – Blaming themselves for things beyond their control.

• Overgeneralizing – Using absolute terms like "always" or "never."

Together, we work on challenging and replacing these negative thoughts with more constructive ones. We also explore how different ways of thinking influence behavior and which approach is most effective in helping them achieve their goals.

Resources

Positive Psychology: a longer, well researched article that shares 18 thought stopping techniques and several worksheets that you can use with your young person.

Helping your child combat negative thinking takes time and patience, but with your support, or the support of a coach, they can learn to reframe challenges and develop a more confident, resilient mindset.

Please try any of these tips at home, share with friends or colleagues, or book a free consultation if you think coaching could benefit your child.

Thank you so much for joining me in the work to raise and support our young people as they navigate the joys and challenges of this special time.